another return to the US

so I am back in the US. I arrived a few days ago. i am really glad that i went to Brasil. it was good for me. it gave me time to rest and recoup from the craziness of this past year of my life and to see some really good friends. it also gave me a lot of time to think.

i am at a point in my life where i have a lot of decisions to make over the next few months and year. these decisions are not easy for me. often times decisions are not easy for me, but these decisions seem bigger, more important and in some ways are scarier.

so i thought a lot about what i want to do, what i want out of life. and often times it seems that i have more questions and more things i wonder about than things that are answered or certain, but what i have realized is that

1. i want to live outside the US for a more substantial period of time, like for a year or more. and i do not just want this to be traveling and moving from place to place, although i would like some more of that too. i want to live in another country and really get to know a specific place and build meaningful relationships within a community and with people. and i want to become fluent in a second language, hopefully in either portuguese or swahili, or both! i really do not desire to start over with a whole new language.

2. i want to be apart of working with people who are impoverished and marginalized by mainstream society. i want to be able to stand in solidarity with them and to love them. to build deep relationships and really invest in a specific community of people and in individual lives.

3. i would like to see more of the world, but i don’t want to travel the world on my own. i don’t want to be an isolated individual. i want to share my experiences with others and with friends. not that short bits won’t be on my own, but there was a time in my life that i thought i wanted to travel the world for 6 months to a year and that i could do that on my own. i believe i could do that on my own, but i do not want to travel for a lengthy period of time on my own.

there are still many questions and details, but those will be worked out.

but for now, i am back in the US and will be here at least through december, most likely a little longer than that. it’s good to be with family. last night was good. i made dinner for my mom, older brother and sister-in-law. being gone for a month i have missed cooking and even better cooking for people i love. over the past 6 months i have realized i should and want to value and prioritize my family and close friends more.

but i do miss brazil. i miss my friends, the wonderful families i stayed with. i miss the warmth of the culture and brazillian greetings. i miss hearing portuguese and i miss my attempts at communicating in portuguese, some successful and some not so much. i miss many things about being in brazil and i really hope to be there again, hopefully in less than 5 years.

and some pictures.