This year is coming to a close. It seems as though so much has happened in 2009 in my life. I made it through my last semester of college. I graduated. I obtained an internship. I spent a month in Brasil…going back to the first country and culture I fell in love with and seeing such good friends. I moved out of Gainesville and simplified my life through giving away many of my material possessions. Then I lost my internship. I moved back to Gainesville with a lot less stuff. I moved in with my friend Mary, down the street from our dear friend Erica. I applied for a Fulbright grant to go back to Tanzania (still waiting to hear back on that). I got 3 part-time jobs…jobs I really enjoy and are teaching my lots of new things…giving me experiences that are quite valuable…and will help shape future decisions and steps in my life. I am going back to Tanzania…June 2010. I am helping plan a trip for a whole group of college students from my church.
I have said this many times to many people over the past few months. Life is not what I thought it would be right now. This is not what I had planned, but I would like to say I am content where I am. There are points where I am less content and wish certain things would be different, but overall I do trust that God has me where I am supposed to be right now. I often want to have more of a plan for my life. I do have a short term plan…go back to Tanzania for a year or so. Beyond that though, I have no idea what my life will look like, where the Lord will take me. Even that plan I know can change and I am striving to not hold too tightly onto that. I am willing to give that up if the Lord directs me elsewhere. So, there are many uncertainties in my life and future right now.
But, I am striving to be content where I am…I am more successful at this some days and less other days, but striving none the less. Striving to be content and to trust. To trust that One greater than I, One wiser than I and One who dearly loves me is guiding and directing my path.
I am thankful for many things and many people in my life. I am thankful for the ones who have been there for a long time…the ones who have seen me through ups and down…through tragedies and great successes. I am thankful for the ones who are there to listen to my excitement…listen to me talk about my plans and my passions…and also listen to my share my struggles and fears and faults. I am thankful for the ones who have shared laughter and meals with over many years. I am thankful for the ones who, although I am not related to them by blood, treat me as family and whose homes I am always welcome in. I am thankful for the ones who are supportive of my desires to return to Tanzania and to work with and on behalf of Hananasif and it’s children. I am thankful for the ones who want to take part in this with me. I am thankful for the ones who are supportive of me no matter what I am pursuing…who will love me no mater what.
Sometimes, or maybe more accurately I often want to have things all figured out, but I know I need to be content and to trust. So, I strive to have and seek peace…peace and content in my heart and take thins one step or one year at a time. I will move in the direction He leads and strive to remain sensitive to His nudges, His leadings. One step at a time. He promises to never lead and He promises to guide my path…so I must trust and I will follow.
“Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.”
Psalm 25:4-5
“Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.”
Psalm 31:3
“For this God is our God for ever and ever;
he will be our guide even to the end.”
Psalm 48:14
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.”
Isaiah 42:16
I am excited for the up coming months and the year 2010. I am excited to see how it unfolds. I am excited to move in with my now dear friends Mary and Erica and be roommates and not just streetmates. I desire the rest of 2009 and the year 2010 of my life to be marked by peace…contentment…trust…love.
I want to this medium to share more of my thoughts and my heart over this next year. I welcome feedback and advice from others.
Following Iris 
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